I’d been looking forward to the Michael Bisping vs. Matt Hamill match up since day one of The Ultimate Fighter Season 3. I actually couldn’t believe UFC 75 was going to be broadcast for free on SpikeTV. Hell, the Bisping-Hamill fight wasn’t even the top card. So I was stoked to watch three hours of MMA fighting Friday night. I mean, none of the best fights were going to be a repeat of Liddell vs. Sobral, right?

Was I disappointed in the actual fights I watched? No. Was I disappointed in the results of the fights I watched? Abso-fucking-lutely.

If you were able to catch the Bisping vs. Hamill fight, then you were probably impressed with how exciting it was. I was surprised with how much better Matt Hamill has gotten with his stand-up. Before the fight, I was a fan of both fighters. After the fight, I was just a fan of Hamill.

Let me explain. Hamill kicked Michael Bisping’s ass up and down the octagon. He bloodied Bisping’s face all to hell in the first minute of the fight. He took Bisping down at will in all three rounds. He landed more punches in all three rounds. He inflicted more damage in all three rounds. Guess who won? Michael Bisping by split decision. A fucking farce. We all sat there in front of the television slack-jawed. We couldn’t believe it. Did the judges watch the same fight we did?

It was surreal to watch Michael Bisping talk shit about being the real Ultimate Fighter champion with his face all swollen and bashed in, and then turn around and watch a sullen Matt Hamill, with the only evidence he was in a fight being a little cut above his nose, talk about how “I thought I won, but he beat me fair and square”.

This is exactly why I don’t ever watch boxing. The subjective, crooked-behind-the-scenes judging is everything that’s wrong with boxing, and now it’s found its way into the UFC. If Dana White doesn’t do something about this, I might have to start boycotting the UFC. I’ve never seen such an obvious decision go the wrong way. Sure, close fights are going to be called one way that some fans may not like. But this fight WASN’T EVEN CLOSE.

I don’t care what anyone says about “the official judging rules”, and that Bisping won because he had “better technique” and “better looking punches”. Better technique and better looking punches don’t amount to shit when you get thrown around the octagon by a deaf man-beast and have your face pulverized by “unorthodox punches”.

Apparently, Dana White thinks a rematch is a no-brainer. Which is good by itself, but it’s a lame consolation in my eyes.

On the flip side, the Quinton Jackson vs. Dan Henderson fight was great. I couldn’t believe both fighters went all five rounds. Jackson won by unanimous decision, and that one was even closer than the Bisping-Hamill fight, although I agree with the judges.

I think a real consolation prize for the fans would be Dana White to setting up a fight for Michael Bisping against either Quinton Jackson or Dan Henderson. Then we could all REALLY see him get his face smashed in.

What makes us fart? Turns out it’s all the good stuff you want to eat. According to LiveScience, the biggest gas-inducing food ingredients are sugars. Too bad sugar is in everything. Is there no escaping the gas? If only the Toot Tone were a real gadget.

“The answer may stink, but eating or drinking anything gives us gas. In fact, it’s normal to fart up to half of a gallon (1.9 liters), or about 15 to 20 toots worth of gas, each day.”

15 to 20 toots worth of gas each day? How much gas, exactly, makes up your average “toot”? Are we talking “five-second cushion burner”, “long slow quiet release”, or more along the lines of “short frog croak”? Seems to me, all those toots are comprised of quite different volumes of gas.

If you’re like me, and I sincerely hope you’re not, then you might be the kind of person who squeezes out 15-20 “five-second cushion burners” per day. Which means I need to Febreeze my office seat cushion about once a week.

According to the article, ass gas is produced by intestinal bacteria that do the following:

“In the process of converting our meals into useful nutrients, these food-munching microbes produce a smelly by-product of hydrogen sulfide gas—the same stench that emanates from rotten eggs.”

But that doesn’t explain why my bologna farts actually smell like bologna.

And the only food that doesn’t give you gas: Rice.  Which is great for the Asian countries, as long as they’d stop producing children’s jewelry with lead in it and killing our animals with poison pet food.

Link [via Digg]

It’s official. Gangstas & Hugs is now two years old. Who would have thought it was possible? Thanks to this blog, I’ve been able to waste time and obsess over page views like it was going out of style. It’s been fun though. I never imagined it would last this long or that G&H would be pulling in between 15,000 and 20,000 pageviews a month. Hell, I didn’t even know what an RSS feed was until way after I started blogging with this first post, back on August 24, 2005.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll remember that I started blogging on a Blogger domain. That just got too damn frustrating, so I ended up purchasing a domain and switching to Wordpress. So far, I’m glad I dropped the ol’ blogspot domain.

Here are just a few of the notable milestones from the past two years:

• 200,770 unique visitors
• 318,127 page views
• 295 posts
• 2,566 comments
• 51,061 blocked spam comments thanks to Akismet
• 3 mistaken posts about diaper fetishes - [Diaper Post #1] [Diaper Post #2] [Diaper Post #3]
• 2 extremely popular posts on ass/booty - [Booty Post #1] [Booty Post #2]
• 2 posts showcasing the idiots who stole a video camera from my work - [bitch session
• etc, etc, etc…

Of course, they go on and on. But a two year anniversary post wouldn’t be complete without a thorough look back on how G&H has grown up. Through the magic of internet caches, you will now get the pleasure of reliving the past two years with Gangstas & Hugs.

Plenty of chronological screen shots after the jump!

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Alright, I was planning on posting a real commentary post this morning, but after seeing this, I thought I’d hold off until tomorrow. If you’ve never visited ICANHASCHEEZBURGER, then you haven’t been keeping up with your internet cliches. Maybe this picture will get you in the mood to go to church or something.

If you didn’t find that funny, then you need to get yourself a sense of humor. Either that, or you hate pictures of cats. Which I could totally understand if these pictures weren’t funny, and were more along the lines of: “These are my very cute cats, who number fourteen at the moment. I live with them in my one bedroom apartment on the bad side of town. Tinkerbell is my favorite because she licks my wounds when the other cats get excited and scratch me. Aren’t they cute?”

I can’t believe I missed this entire SNL episode when Peyton Manning hosted. Oh well, at least there’s Youtube. Some of my favorite quotes:

“Everybody bring it back in. Except for you, I can’t even look at you.”

“Go sit in the port-a-potty for 20 minutes!”

“Cops! Cops! Every man for himself!”

“I would kill a snitch. Now, I’m not sayin’ I have. I’m not sayin’ I haven’t… you know what I mean.”

xkcd is one of my favorite web comics, and this one in particular is no exception. If you aren’t a fan yet, I highly recommend checking out the archives. You’ll be hooked in no time.

You may also have noticed random xkcd comics showing up in the Gangstas and Hugs feed, via del.icio.us. Imagine what else you might be missing by not subscribing!

Have you ever sat down and watched a full episode of Power Rangers? Did you puke, or go into an epileptic seizure? I watched the second half of an episode this weekend because I was down at the lake and it was the only show on the only station that came in. Don’t judge me.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but when I first found out about Power Rangers, there were only five of those jackasses. If that’s the case, how come I saw twenty of those scrotum-cheese goobers running around on the screen? How can there be that many now? Do kids with crappy Lycra costumes and lolly-pop helmets multiply that fast?

An what the hell is up with the plot? Or lack of one? From the part of the show I saw, I figured out there was a Power Ranger base where injured Power Rangers go have sex and recuperate. That’s also the same place they manufacture their robots that transform from sultry sex-pots into giant foam weapons spray-painted to look like Voltron.

The next part of the episode I was able to decipher was that all the Power Ranger enemies are required to be made of special effects foam. That and they either have space-age blue buck teeth or a spinning Christmas light head like the robot from Lost in Space that said “Danger, Danger Will Robinson!”

It also looks like the special effects team wanted to leave their mark in each shot because what looked like a battle taking place in a crater on some far off world was also a dumping ground for 1992 Nissans and 1988 Toyota Tercels. I shit you not, every big special effects explosion had at least one early model vehicle parked in the background, and they had nothing to do with the crappy plot.

I’ll be damned if I ever let my kids watch this nonsense. I’m not sure what shows I’ll let them watch while they raise themselves in front of the television, but I do know this one won’t be one of them.

In the name of all that is holy, why would you want to be jostling around in any liquid with this many people in it? Seriously? If I had to swim around in urine, I’d rather that urine be my own thanks.

I know this would only happen in Japan, but don’t they have some sort of fire code also? Me thinks that whole pool is inside a building, and from the looks of it, I have no idea how that many people could ever exit in an emergency.

Makes me very thankful I can pee-pee and poop-poop in so many open spaces here in America.

Link [via Trends in Japan]

I admitted in my post on pop culture that I’ve never read a single Harry Potter book. Never, nunca, nada. Little did I know I wasn’t the only person in the world who has never read a Harry Potter book.

Someone then suggested we start a club for people who have not read Harry Potter. I concurred. So far, here is the club:

• Me
• Robguy
• JJ
• Mr. Fabulous
• Minijonb

UPDATE - New Members:

• April

The name of the club shall henceforth be known as “Americans/Australians/AnyCountryThatStartsWithA Against Popular Leisure Reading” or AAPLR for short. The best pronunciation of the acronym I can come up with is AAAAAAA-pluhr. Think “Aflac duck” for the first syllable, followed by a nasal rendition of the first part of ‘plural’.

Stay with me. How many times have you missed out on a conversation because you had yet to catch up on the popular book/show/movie/sex toy everyone else was talking about? I think it’s time we make a stand. A stand for what we believe in. A stand against popularity in all its forms. In fact, if this club gets too popular, I’m going to shut it down. Just like that. I believe in what I stand for just that much.

What about you? Who’s with me? Who else wants to join Aaaaaaapluhr? The only prerequisite is that you haven’t read Harry Potter or anything on Oprah’s Book Club reading list. If you fail to meet the requirements and still want to join, I’ll need a note from your mother or one of your twelve cats confirming that you haven’t read any of the aforementioned tomes in the last six to eight weeks.

I’m sure most of you have wished a time or two that you could let lose on some of your coworkers in a semi-violent or vengeful manner. Enter Faceball, the game where you can ridicule your colleagues under the pretense of clean, wholesome fun.

So what is Faceball, besides being founded by John Allspaw and Dunstan Orchard?

At it’s simplest level Faceball involves two people hitting beach balls at each other’s faces. At a deeper level it’s a vehicle for the release of personal animosity, and the Shaming of the Weak.

Brilliant! Releasing personal animosity and shaming the weak are my lifeblood. Looks like someone released a little personal animosity on this biatch. But it looks like Tom Coates doesn’t mind a little shaming of the weak. Flickr seems to have a ton of people documenting this latest work-place phenomenon.

A video documentary and some more Faceball links after the jump.

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