Boobie Cocktail
Let me just go on the record by saying that boobies have been scientifically proven to lower a man’s IQ score by 30 to 40 points in less than 2 seconds! Can you believe that? I’d give you a link to the article I read, but I’m sure everyone else has already read it too.
Seriously, I’m not joking. I was at a fine club in Phoenix this past weekend called “Christie’s”. Probably the best house of ill-repute I’ve ever been in. Certainly better than the crap here in Kentucky. The best part was I had my girlfriend with me. If those of you with girlfriends have not gotten your girl to accompany you to a strip club, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! Tell her “I just want you there so you’ll trust me” or “I just want you to see what its like for yourself” or some other line to get her to go along.
Those of you stuck with bitches… well, sorry boutcha! But wait there is a story to my madness here. Let’s review strip clubs real quick so that everyone understands the groundwork for my fable. Strip clubs are full of women that get naked or partially naked for money. These women typically look at their patrons as idiots who they can manipulate with ease. Men go to strip clubs to look at females in the buff, and have fantasies about giving them the ol’ cucumber plunger. They usually leave the club more frustrated than they entered, and a hell of a lot poorer.
Now, here’s where the girlfriend comes in. Strippers love to play and flirt with each other, and they like to do the same with females in the club (unless she’s a bull dyke of course). The cuter the better. So hopefully you see where I’m going with this. If your girlfriend has any respect for you, she will play right along with the stage vixens!
Really its quite awesome. You don’t have to pay for a lap dance the whole night. Just sit back and watch all the action, and then give your girlfriend some ones to give to the strippers. Just follow her up to the stage and sit there like a good little dog with your shit-eatin’ grin on your face.
Maybe I’m just lucky, but strippers love to have my girlfriend grab their boobs, and vice-versa. I tell you, there aren’t many greater turn-ons than your girl being involved in a boob-feeling match. Feeler or feelie, it doesn’t matter.
So there you go! You pay cover to the club for both of you, bring a wad of ones, and then leave all randy and ready to go. And hell, your girlfriend might even comment on how some of the girls are hot or sexy. And you get to agree! Because she’s not threatened by them, and she knows you’re going home with her. So men, some way some how, you gotta start working the angle. And don’t just blurt out: “I want you to come with me to the titty-bar so they can feel on your boobies and I can think about that while we’re humpin’ later!” It requires a little more finesse than that, although my coercing only involved a “So, do you wanna go?” after I told her we were heading to a sleazy joint for someone’s birthday.
Man, I need some Jergen’s.
[tags]humor, commentary, funny, strippers[/tags]
Who told you that was cool?
I couldn’t deal with my gf doing something like that it would disgust me. I’m just speaking at a secular level here. I can see how that stuff may be titilating and tempting with other people’s gfs but not with someone you love and are faithful to. Just my opinion.
By the way, I think you have a funny blog (as it’s meant to be, I’m sure).
And that conservative group featured on that cheesy but sometimes entertaining network, MTV, was probably Protest Warrior; I think I saw that.
sirc_valence,
First, thank you for the compliment. Next, I hope I didn’t the give the impression that my girlfriend was a floozy, far from it. It’s just a fun thing. I DON’T recommend it for guys with ‘loose’ women… you never know where it might go from there.
Also, my compliments on stating your opinion so well. I read your profile, and I’m impressed that you didn’t get angry with my post. Again my thanks. I might just start having to check out your Christian-based blog every once in a while… who would have thunk it!
That’s cool, am glad that you will check out what I have to say. I don’t think that all disagreements have to be bitter and contentious.
I understand that what people think about what we do at any given moment isn’t very important, I simply wanted to register my opinion here. Nobody is perfect or does everything perfectly in any case.
I think we understand eachother.
Stay cool
Another fine post. I’ve been in this same situation, and a finer turn-on there isn’t. Especially when the boob feeling match goes into high gear.
THIS guy knows what I’m talkin’ about! W00T!
Hi!
Read your post! Loved it! My girlfriend and I (yes we’re lesbians) we always can appreciate another woman’s beauty, without losing our heads, so to speak. I think it’s great to expore different things with your partner–to a limit.
We went to a strip club once mojo, and I told my girlfriend that I had to use the ladie’s room,…well little did I know that the “ladie’s room” was the strippers dressing room! Now that was fun! ;)
Great blog by the way! You’re hysterical!
Why thank you Deb. I have the sneaking suspicion this might not be the first time you’ve posted a comment to my blog.
If so, welcome back. If not, I seem to have a high percentage of lesbians visiting… hmmm.
I have had my boobies grabbed by a stripper…it was good times
Pam, I am very glad to hear you say that. Shallom sistah!
Very impressive web site. Not everyone has to agree but I sure do. Keep the site rocking.Couldn’t of ask for more!.
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