Hail O’ Great Flying Spaghetti Monster
Intelligent Design… I swear to God these right-wingers are getting more deserving of their ‘cult’ label every day! I used to think this Christian-Fundy phase was just a flash in the pan. But now they’re touting it as curriculum across the Mid-West.
I wish I could convince them to join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Their doctrine completely explains why the number of pirates has decreased inversely to the increase in global warming. I want my pirates!
But seriously… we’re talking about nuts here. Take this quote from an article by John Derbyshire:
“This is Bush at his muddle-headed worst, conferring all the authority of the presidency on the teaching of pseudoscience in science classes. Why stop with Intelligent Design (the theory that life on earth has developed by a series of supernatural miracles performed by the God of the Christian Bible, for which it is pointless to seek any naturalistic explanation)? Why not teach the little ones astrology? Lysenkoism? Orgonomy? Dianetics? Reflexology? Dowsing and radiesthesia? Forteanism? Velikovskianism? Lawsonomy? Secrets of the Great Pyramid? ESP and psychokinesis? Atlantis and Lemuria? The hollow-earth theory? Does the president have any idea, does he have any idea, how many varieties of pseudoscientific flapdoodle there are in the world? If you are going to teach one, why not teach the rest? Shouldn’t all sides be “properly taught”? To give our kids, you know, a rounded picture? Has the president scrutinized Velikovsky’s theories? Can he refute them?”
These are words from a conservative, mind you. Apparently he’s a conservative with a head on his shoulders. He’s exactly right about the logic the President used to make this quote:
“Both sides ought to be properly taught,” President Bush told a reporter August 2, “so people can understand what the debate is all about.”
DEBATE!?!?!?! We’re talking about religious pseudo-science horseshit. Seriously, you should read all of Derbyshire’s article. He goes on to point out how, following the President’s logic, we should teach every nonsensical, irrational, unfounded theory that was ever thought up.
I’m sorry, but the Bible is not a ‘foundation’ for Intelligent Design. It was written by monks, scholars, aristocrats, you name it, from THEIR point of view centuries ago. PLUS, they were chronicling stories that they themselves were hearing second and third hand.
Why must people still subject themselves to religious tyranny hundreds of years after its effectiveness has wained? I’m relatively sure its because we NEED to be oppressed in some form or fashion. I don’t think the human psyche has evolved enough to really comprehend the universe without resorting to some ‘mystic’ or ‘magic’ conclusions. Sad… very sad indeed.
Hey pussyboy, come on down and I’ll be glad to take you hunting anytime.
Bwahahahahaha! Your 52 year old ass calling me a pussyboy? What, cause I speaka’ da’ truth? Do you really belove evolution is a myth? Too afraid to admit your humble beginnings started with apes that throw poop?
Well, I’m not. MY God works in ‘mysterious ways’. And as for hunting (I’m from KY nimrod)… I think I can probably handle an SKS better than your redneck ass. Yup, full metal jacket and all.
Oh yeah… I’d just like to point out (AGAIN) how quickly you self-proclaimed “Christians” are to jump to violent outbursts. The irony is something I could never replicate on my own, how can I ever thank you?
Damn it… just thought of another one:
Wake up and open your eyes! EVOLUTION is the miracle. The fact (yes fact) that our ancestors were hairy primates who climbed in trees is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY amazing. What? To “dirty” a beginning for some folks? Get the fuck over it! If you came from your mama’s poonany like the rest of us did, then you can admit that your great grand-pappy to the 18th power was a dirty ape.
Bible thumpers are great, aren’t they? They bash you for just being human–anything in their eyes disturbs them, they’re so perfect. Holy rolling super egotistic self-righteous hypocrites.
Deb,
That’s probably the biggest thing that disturbs me about bible-thumpers. Externalizing how they feel everyone else is so immoral or imperfect.
Just hypocritical in my book. I swear a lot of them think that because they go to church on a regular basis that it puts them into the position to “judge” others. I remember a lot from Sunday school, and I’m pretty sure the only one that matters on “judgement day” is the big guy.
-Mojo
Exactly! So don’t let anyone get to you with their judgment—because it simply does not matter!
Thanks for the kind words Deb. I’ll have to be stopping by your blog more often. :)
[...] I've written about this subject before, and I could write about it ad nauseum and still not change a single mind of people with this affliction to reality. That's what I see it as really. People so obsessed with religion that they refuse to acknowledge everyday facts if those facts just happen to contradict anything they thought they believed in. Their reaction isn't "How do I fit these facts into my religious framework", it's more like "The devil is alive in the world today! And I will not believe his lies!". [...]