Laguna My Bee-yatch

Oh the sexy beaches of Laguna uh…. Beach. Man that rascal above sure does look like a party animal huh? I picked his impeccably ironed polo shirt up via GIS. Too bad this guy isn’t one of the cast members for MTV’s Laguna Beach. He’d probably be a hell of a lot more interesting than the numb nutz on there now.

By now, you’re probably asking yourself if I’ve ever seen the show. And the answer to that is: YESBUTIDIDNTWANTTOIJUSTCOULDNTSTOPLOOKINGATITKINDOFLIKEATRAINWRECK. Get it? Well, if you’ve ever had the misfortune of turning this fine piece of programming on, then you’re probably as perplexed as I am. Is it real? Is it a written show? Do they actually follow all these rich teenagers around and hype their lives up like they’ve got real problems?

But here’s the real kicker: Would it be worse if it was a reality show or a scripted show with actors? Wait, what’s the difference? Can anyone honestly believe that the show has no writing, or that the “cast” isn’t paid to perform in front of a camera (actors)? Plus, IT’S ABSOLUTELY AWFUL! Out of the 3 times I’ve flipped it on, I can honestly say I have never watched more than 10 minutes at a time. But that doesn’t mean I flipped right past it. My mind just keeps thinking, “Is this real? Is somebody really getting paid to put this on television?”. And that’s why I have to stop and watch a few minutes. It’s like a train wreck… you’re horrified, but there’s no way in hell that you won’t stare for a while at the carnage.

I mean, come on. Are people’s lives really so awful that the best entertainment they can get is watching real life rich high school kids hash out drama on television? But that did get me to thinking: What are these fools going to do later in life? What possible skill will they be able to hone and make a living with? I sure don’t see a single one on the show.

They do know how to spend their parents money and talk about people behind their backs, but who doesn’t? So these kids are getting paid good cheddah to put their rich lifestyles on display. Man, I wish there was something very funny and poignant I could say to that… but all I can muster is: “Look Harry, it feels like you’re running at an incredible rate of speed!”