Girl, Shake That Laffy Taffy

I’m sure everyone has gotten a chance to enjoy Mr. O’Reilly’s show, The O’Reilly Factor. Why it’s a factor of anything, I have no idea. You’ve probably also heard about his sexual harassment law-suit he got slapped with. Personally I hope its the first in a long line of shit that should be headed this guy’s way. I know of no other person that gets to lie on television more than this buffoon. AND he’s cocky as hell. Look at that smug smirk he’s got on there. Wouldn’t you just LOVE to slap the ever living shit out of him?

I saw an interview he had with a son of someone who had died in the World Trade Center bombings. The reason Bill wanted him on the show is because the kid was outspoken against the war. So Bill has him on and starts giving him a bunch of crap about “If it weren’t for the memory of your father…” “You’re a disgrace…” yada yada yada. Then he gets absolutely red in the face and tells the kid to get out of his studio, basically threatening him. I’ve got to give it to the guy for even coming on his show, AND he played it cool the whole way through.

Now I’ve heard Bill O’Reilly is supposed to be a big guy and kind of intimidating… but let me ask you this: Can he dodge a bullet? I mean seriously. That’s one guy who I would love to run into on the street. Just one curb-stomp is all I ask. If I was 3 feet away from a guy who was bad-mouthing me over my dead father’s memory, you’d find the guy’s teeth about 8 feet farther back.

I can’t be the only one who loathes O’Reilly either. He’s one of the most vile human beings to ever have his mug plastered on the television set, and that’s saying a lot. So I’m making it official: There is now a bounty on Bill O’Reilly’s head. I don’t care how you bring him in; promises of cool vibrators, money stuffed into a Ronald Reagan lunch box, kidnapping his Pomeranian ‘Snuggles’, it doesn’t matter. Dead or Alive too. Actually the only thing I’m gonna need IS his head. I’m gonna stuff it and mount it next to my ‘noodling’ trophy for largest catfish caught in a polluted river. The reward: You get to put your own show in O’Reilly’s time slot. The only caveat being that it has to be completely devoted to how much O’Reilly Sucks. Other than that, its fair game.