Inflation’s Forgotten Victim: Your Neighborhood Stripper

We’re going to have a little economics lesson today, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve no doubt heard your parents talk ad nauseum about how ‘cheap’ commodities were when they were young. You know, how a snickers bar used to cost a nickel. And how they bought their first muscle car for $1500 brand new. Well, things have changed a bit, thanks in no small part to the Reaganomics of the 1980’s.

Nowadays, you’re lucky if you can get 10 stitches in the ER for less than $1500. Now, it isn’t really true that things have gotten more expensive. To keep from prattling on and on about market influences, it really comes down to the fact that when economies expand they require a larger amount of physical money to accomodate that expansion. Which ‘basically’ means the price of everything gets diluted, so retailers have to up the price of goods to continue to make money.

OK, maybe not the clearest of explanations, but I don’t give a shit… you should know it already. What I do want to bring to your attention is a profession in this country that many don’t realize gets affected more than your typical worker by the inflation beast.

Think about it, what is the denomination that strippers live by? It’s the dollar bill people. And it has been for some time. That single your slipping in between her cheeks isn’t gonna be able to buy as much coke in 5 years as it does today. So lets do a little financial analysis. We’ll start with today’s dollars. Say you happen to put 3 one-dollar bills in her party crack tonight.

Now, if you assume an inflation rate of 3% per year for the next 3 years, those 3 dollars are gonna be worth $2.23 in 10 years. How is a stripper supposed to survive on that??? I’ve started to see the efforts already, lap dances are WAY more expensive today than they were just a few years ago. The strippers have to make up for it elsewhere, so the banana show in the Champagne Room is getting out of the common man’s reach!

So we need to take a proactive stance. We need to find a solution before throwing dollars on stage will be like throwing pennies at a homeless person, and getting a lap dance on the VD couch will cost more than getting 10 stitches at the ER! Be an activist, and call your congressman today! Tell him we need to subsidize strippers now! Do it, before its too late!