Strangers in the Night
So I’m driving back from class last night, on my way to pick up my girlfriend. I’m driving her around right now, since her car’s broken down. I have to go through down-town on the way from campus to her place. I stop at a light on Main Street waiting to turn right. On the far corner away from me, on the right side, I see a guy stopped at the cross-walk. He’s looking at my truck, and then raises his arm and does the “go on in front of me” motion. I don’t pay any attention to the guy because I can’t go anyway. There’s traffic four lanes thick going by in front of me now.
I’m sitting there enjoying the thump-a-bumpable beats of “On Point” by House of Pain on my stereo, and the next thing I know the guy is walking across the street toward me. This is about 10 seconds after he waved me past, so the traffic is still going strong. I can’t believe this shit. He’s basically stumbling diagonally across the intersection while lanes of traffic are missing him by inches!
But apparently this doesn’t phase the guy, because he’s staring right at me and doing the back and forth head-bob thing like he’s talking shit. Just so everyone understands, this guy (looks mid-forties, although he’s probably mid-thirties, haggard black dude in a hoodie and stained coat) starts walking across down-town traffic at 8:20 at night, diagonally through an intersection, just so he can start mean-muggin’ me.
Why? I’m not entirely sure. I think it may have had to do with me ‘refusing’ his offer to let me pass in front of him. After all, he didn’t have to offer. He could have started walking into oncoming traffic WAY before he thought about being nice and letting me turn the corner unimpeded. Maybe I should have accepted his offer. I mean, it’s hard enough getting people to be courteous to one another without snubbing your nose at those that do try and make your day a little better.
The whole time he was walking across the street I expected a reinactment of the scene in “Meet Joe Black” where Brad Pitt gets hit by a car out of nowhere. But alas, it was not to be. The dude makes it to the corner on my left and keeps looking at me and mumbling sweet nothings. This guy is messed up three ways from Sunday, and I can see in his eyes that he wants to jump through my window, scratch me a little bit, and then steal my change and run off.
He doesn’t though. He tosses the 64-ounce Big Gulp he’s been carrying straight up into the air and then scurries over to the window of this restaurant next to the sidewalk and starts peering through it, even though the restaurant’s closed and its dark inside. My light turns green, and since there’s no accident scene that I have to stick around for, I continue on my way.
Thus ends my tale of two strangers encountering each other in the night. Let this be a lesson to all of you who may just toss aside the next act of kindness that a crackhead extends to you. God works in mysterious ways, and if you’re lucky, you may be able to catch that Big Gulp just before it hits the pavement.
There’s something profound in that tale of two strangers, but at this momment I’m at a loss for it. Maybe it has something to do with the human condition, the difference between the haves and have-nots, or maybe something about Big Gulps.
Phoenix: For some reason it was profound for me… couldn’t quit thinking about it. Mainly because if the guy had gotten hit, it might have scarred me for life.
Hmm, I think I KNOW that guy. No wait, I think I was in Lexington this week. Maybe it was me.
He doesn’t though. He tosses the 64-ounce Big Gulp he’s been carrying straight up into the air and then scurries over to the window of this restaurant next to the sidewalk and starts peering through it, even though the restaurant’s closed and its dark inside.
Ah well it was Monday night afterall. That’s just standard procedure.
Poobah: Are you sure? I could have sworn that guy didn’t look omnipotent to me…
——–
Tara: Of course, I should have realized that.
I’m sorry but um, that photo of Tyrone Biggums prevented me from reading the rest of your post. Which sucks because I was DYING to know how all this came out!
Damn you, Mojo!!!!
Oh and the REASON I couldn’t finish reading your post was because I was too busy convulsing with laughter.
nicole: I was hoping it was because you were laughing… I didn’t realize how funny it was that you didn’t see the picture of Tyrone until you clicked “Read entire post”. I probably would have laughed out loud if I didn’t write the damn thing.
[...] Random people will knock on your door at any hour of the day and have a story about why they need money This is a weekly and monthly occurance at our household, and it has been since I was a kid. There’s always some jackass with a sob story about how “their car broke down and their wife is in the hospital and they’re from out of town and don’t know nobody and they just need a couple of dollars for gas” or “I’m out of diapers for my baby and my sister’s out of town and I need to get some right quick cause I don’t want no mess all over if you knows what I mean”. Come the fuck on! I’ve been hearing that shit since I was 8 years old! You guys only fooled me once in 28 years too! That was the time the guy who said he was from out of town and had a pregnant wife in the hospital started crying on my ass. I couldn’t take it! I gave the dude the $3 I had just to get rid of him. Also, why is it that every time we offer to actually help you with your perported problem you just get mad and frustrated? “No gas?” OK, I’ve got a couple of gallons in the basement, let’s head to your car and fill it up! What, you’ll only take money? Get the fuck outta here! “Baby needs diapers?” OK, sweetie, I know how you feel, just so happens we have a couple of bags of Pampers left over from when our cousin visited with her baby. Money only, you say? Suck a dick crackhead, and get off my front porch! [...]