Maui Onion and Garlic Almonds Cause Halitosis
Yesterday was Easter. My girlfriend got an Easter basket when she went home to visit her mom. I was stuck at home working on a project for school, so I couldn’t go. My girlfriend’s mom is holding my Easter basket hostage until I come visit again. So I got to stare at all of the goodies my girl brings home in her basket, and wonder when I’ll get to partake. The girlfriend shows me a little bit of compassion and gives me a little something this morning to munch on at work, some good ol’ tasty nuts. Damn, are they good. They don’t smell like they’d be killer, but it says it all in the name: “Maui Onion and Garlic Almonds”. Just in case you missed the label on the image above:
Did you catch the ‘BOLD’ in all caps? Well, the label isn’t lying. I can’t quit eating these sonsabitches, and I’m walking around the office with tendrils of stinky smoke coming out of my mouth. I’ve already singed the eyelashes off the first couple people I talked to this morning, so I’m trying to lay low for the rest of the day.
My question: Shouldn’t a product such as this come with a complimentary pack of mints built into the side? Seems like they’d have a little trouble drumming up repeat business if their snack food caused some people to lose their jobs.
Yes, you are correct sir! A product placement with Tic Tacs is just what these BOLD nuts need… now get outta my face before your breath kills me!!!
minijonb: I don’t think Tic Tacs will be nearly strong enough. I’m thinking more along the lines of Listerine you can sip through a straw.
What kind of Easter treat is that? Maui Onion and Garlic jellybeans, yes, but almonds, no.
Just wait till you get a whiff of the farts those babies are going to cause.
Mist 1: The jellybeans definitely would have been more in the Easter spirit…
Robguy: I’m dealing with them right now.
I can see the ppl who’ve lost their jobs over this…
They’re all on the side of the road w/ signs that read “WILL WORK FOR NUTS”. haha.
yllwdaisies: *runs and scratches out what I just drew on a sign* There’s no way you could know that!
Any kind of mint will not be strong enough. It’ll just be minty dragon breath coming out of your mouth.
You could chew a piece of that parsley It’s that little garnish you get with a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant. I thought it was all B.S., but after eating a big garlic dish, the taste and stench was immediately vaporized upon chewing just one little leaf.
Phoenix: Now that is exactly the type of useful information I have come to rely on you for, Phoenix.