Why planning for fun sucks
AnonymousCoworker just wrote a post about how his summer social schedule has already filled up and it makes him feel all douchey when someones asks him if he wants to hang out Friday night and he has to pull up his calendar.
This got me to thinking. I feel the same damn way. Specifically, I’ll echo what ACW already said:
“But packing fun into the weekend isn’t fun. It’s like work. Because when you spend any amount of time beyond 5 seconds trying to plan your fun, you’re not having fun anymore.”
Planning for fun makes it crappy, and I’ve always thought that. I’m of the school of thought that the most fun experiences of your life will be unplanned. That’s why I don’t like to fill my schedule up with much way ahead of time. The best opportunities to have fun come along out of nowhere. Say, for instance, you find out one of your favorite porn stars is performing at a strip club in town and you make the suggestion that everyone head out there because it would be some fun ass shit. If you already made plans two weeks ago to see the late showing of Shrek the Third, then you’d be missing out on some porn star boobies.
I’ve had a few girlfriends that get all pissy when I don’t have a good excuse as to why I’m unable to commit to some organized event with their friends 4 weeks out. The real reason is: By planning it 4 weeks in advance, its probably not going to be that fun, and I know one of my friends will think of something fun to do about an hour before we go out that same night. The problem is that all the girl hears is this: “I’d rather hold out for something better.” Which is kind of true, but sounds much worse than it is.
I realize planning for social occasions is something some girls just like to do. And I’m OK with that. But let me point out some pitfalls of trying to have fun by planning for it:
- If you plan for an event a few weeks out, its inevitable that someone you want there won’t be able to make it just because you set the date and time in stone.
- While cool stuff like porn stars at the strip club can be planned for ahead of time, they usually aren’t. That’s what makes them so special.
- The people that will actually commit to going out to a bar a month ahead of time are probably not the same people you will have a great time with at said bar.
- Guy’s are lazy. And forgetful. Not really the best combination when you want a male to be responsible for something important at a social occasion. Like say, a crucial food item.
I had to break all my own social planning rules recently for a party I had at my place. Not being an undergrad anymore, I did have to put some thought and planning into it. I kept it on the “relatively short notice” list by inviting people less than two weeks before hand. But that was about as spontaneous as I got. The party was supposed to be a combination birthday/graduation party for yours truly, so I ended up getting a bunch of gifts, which was definitely awesome. But that’s where the niceties ended. It was probably one of the more stressful things, besides finishing grad school, that I’ve done recently. The day before and the day of my girlfriend and I were running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Between her cleaning up all my shit and cooking, and me picking up lawn furniture, food and beer, we were beat. At the end of it all, I was a few hundred dollars broker with an empty keg that’s still sitting in the middle of our kitchen.
In an ideal world, the party process would have been this simple: Start the day by going to the super market and picking up hamburgers, hotdogs and buns, then stopping by the liquor store for a keg of Milwaukee’s Best. After that, call most of my friends, tell them it’s my birthday and I just graduated. If they want some free burgers and beer, come on over. That’s it.
But that would leave out all the people who already packed their social calendar last month.
It’s cool not having anything on your calendar to do, generally that’s what my lifes like. I have to plan weekends for groups of people I don’t normally see. For example a friend from school is leaving the country next week and is having a leaving party. He invited us all down about 6 weeks ago. As it’s a few hundred miles to get there and it’s a special occasion so I need notice to plan. The week after I’m going to a festival, three weeks after that I get to go see Metallica at Wembley Stadium, then the week after that another weekend away with friends from University. But in between I’ve got a few free weekends to chill with mates where I live and do what I want. Summer sucks, I’m always skint from too much to do!
Ugly Toy: It’s all worth the planning if it means you get to see Metallica perform!
It seems like whenever I plan, the unexpected happens. Now I plan for the unexpected. Meaning that my travel bags, purses, and the trunk of my car always hold a random assortment of items. I have a formal dress, a boogie board, a pack of bottle rockets, lip gloss, and other assorted items.
Yes, yes! Exactly! How can I know that your party three weeks from now will be as fun as the Demolition Derby that I just found out about the morning of your party?
Mist 1: I’m thinking of a few cool ideas for the bottle rockets and the formal dress, but why you have the lip gloss escapes me.
ACW: That’s what I’m talking about! You don’t PLAN to go to a demolition derby. That shit just happens!
I remember when summer was just one big, long party. Those days are long gone!
Phoenix: Screw raising a kid and having a family! The party’s not over until YOU say it’s over! Rawk on!
Tera Patrick was just at a club here and I missed it.
Sad.
Riss: I’d be sad too! Unfortunately we don’t get many porn stars visiting the UK…
It reads that you were busy “picking up …. beer” really? really? I distinctly remember doing that very same thing on the very same day of your party, and bringing the then-full-keg to your house. also when you are combining it and is, you add an apostrophe between the “it” and “s” so get it right.
Also I formally submit a request for you to take down this post because, even though this post wouldn’t lead you to believe, you most certainly are busy 95% of the time when I come up with last minute plans, maybe your should “hold out for something better” more often. The only time I can get you to commit is when I send you ghey Google Calendar event invited.
Have fun working today.
also, it was my idea to get Milwaukee’s Best, could have saved $20 and noone would have known. hindsight right?
Riss: We haven’t had a porn star that big here yet… Krystal Steal, Gauge, Brianna Banks, and Gina Lynn are the best so far.
Ugly Toy: I am definitely sorry for you and your people.
brother: Really? Correcting my grammar? I’d like to see your blog posts’ perfect punctuation.
And yes, you did pick up the keg for me, but it was still stressful writing you a check for all that damn money. I should have taken your advice on the Milwaukee’s Best.
My best friend is a planner. His wife lives in California and he lives here in the Midwest. He has several friends who think of him as their best friend. He has two jobs and season tickets with his dad to see the local professional baseball team.
He can tell you what he’s doing every night for the next month.
He likes it that way, but I can’t stand it. I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants guy. I want to be able to call him and just say, “Hey, let’s go do something.”
It just doesn’t happen. So, if I want to continue to be his friend, I have to play by his rules. Why am I the one who always has to play by everyone else’s rules?
I guess that’s the bigger question. Hmmmmmm.
Nice post. :)
With all the narcotics I take it makes it rather difficult to plan anything. I can be in the shower and forget if I’ve washed my hair already. How did I find this blog? Do I know you? :p
ajooja: I guess you have to play by everyone else’s rules if you’re the one who doesn’t have any. Which actually defeates the purpose of not having any rules of your own.
Robguy: Sometimes I forget if I wiped or not.
I was wondering how the hell someone knows where a pornstar is at these days? I see Riss knew that Tera Patrick was in a local spot. Where do you find these things. I still only look at news media, and it doesn’t say shit except give you a teaser. I don’t complain though, I still like how tera patrick looks. Like this one on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuodhQBjBFk
Anyway if anyone knows how to find a pornstar post it.