Transformers: More than meets the eye
Have you ever wondered what it would be like for your favorite childhood toys to become life-like and start shooting it up in real life? Well, after I watched Transformers this weekend, I knew what that felt like. When I first heard they were making the movie, I was all like, "Who's the director gonna be? If it's Michael Bay I'm going to shoot somebody."
Turns out Michael Bay was chosen to direct, and I started plotting how I was going to get a disgruntled Vietnam War vet to snipe some of the execs at Paramount. I think Bad Boys II and Pearl Harbor were awful. Armageddon and The Rock were OK, but these are my beloved Autobots and Decepticons man! Well, as it happens, a little cheese factor and some corny lines were actually what this movie needed.
I guess I didn't realize how cheesy and corny the original cartoon was, but watching the movie brought it all back to me. If you watch the movie thinking you'll see some of the best writing ever, or that you won't be offended by how ridiculously good-looking the female characters are (even though one is a juvenile delinquent and the other is an analyst for the NSA), then you will be sorely disappointed.
If, on the other hand, you go into the movie expecting to see realistic looking representations of your child-hood heroes on the big screen blowing shit up, slow motion battle scenes, and a bunch of comedic relief you won't really feel guilty laughing at, then you'll be satisfied.
Will Transformers when any Academy Awards? Only for special effects. Will a lead as ugly as Shia LaBeouf ever be tapped for a sequel to "Legends of the Fall". Not a chance. Will you walk out of the theatre and wish really hard on the way to your car that it will turn into a robot when you unlock it? You betcha! Will you start singing the original Transformers theme song in the shower on Monday morning? No doubt about it. (The Autobots try to destroy the evil forces ooooooffffff... the Decepticons!")
Some of the best lines:
"You eyein' my piece Fifty Cent?" - crazy deputy interrogating Sam Witwicky
"Are you Mr. Wickywicky?" - Agent Simmons to Mr. Witwicky
"We learned to speak your language by surfing something called the WORLD - WIDE - WEB." - Optimus Prime
"He leaked lubrication on me!" - Ironhide after Mojo the Chihuahua pees on his foot
"What's crackin' little bitches?" - Jazz
"Are you eBay user LadiesMan217?" - Barricade to Same Witwicky
Some of the best parts:
Peter Cullen, the original voice for Optimus Prime, reprises his role for the movie
Hugo Weaving, of Agent Smith fame, is the voice of Megatron
The opening scene where Blackout destroys a whole military base gave me a boner
The Optimus vs. Bonecrusher fight on the freeway is awesome
Excessively attractive females in roles that are supposed to require some brains has never bothered me
There will be a sequel
The movie is doing even better than I thought. I've known for some time this movie was coming out, I just didn't want to get my hopes up that it would actually be good.
If you can't take my word for it, maybe you should see what some people who are smarter than me are saying.
Oh yeah, and be sure to check out one of the trailers too:
Final Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
That movie rocked! I was disappointed not to hear the original theme music though.
Eddie: They could have at least paid homage to it… like they did to the VW Beetle that Bumblebee used to be.
I’m a huge comic fan but I never got into the transformers. I very rarely go out to theatres anymore but I will probably catch this on our version of pay-per-view.
Robguy: I highly recommend seeing it theaters just for the awe-factor. It’s by no means a cerebral movie though, so if you don’t like action that much, then it might be better to see it at home.
and I can’t believe you call Shia ugly. He’s way to young to be hot, but the movie also has Josh Duhamel, and the only not-hot thing about him is that he’s dating wet-panties Fergie.
Robguy: It’s like he’s a throwback to 80’s movies where the fast-talking semi-ugly kid was always cast as the lead. I’m not saying I don’t like him, I just don’t see him pulling a lot of wool.
Josh Duhamel definitely needs to drop that tranny before her eyebrows get any higher.
I just saw it Tues night & LOVED it. Yes, I agree w/ you about seeing it in a theatre (some have discount nights). I liked it so much, I had to also write a post about it the next day.
yllwdaisies: I liked it so much I might have to go back and see it again.