Happy National Hangover Day
[photopress:hangover.jpg,thumb,alignright]Taking a cue from Comedy Central, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy and Joyous National Hangover Day. May your regrets be minimal, your DUI’s be dismissed, and that nasty stain come out of your blouse!
We may not all be so lucky as to have blasted our neurons into the next galaxy (I had to do a bit of driving), but I sincerely hope everyone had a good time, as well as a safe one.
In honor of another year of overblown media hype, asinine celebrity gossip, and religious fundamentalists of all faiths, here are 10 cures for the hangover that are sure to get you back on top of your game:
- Eat a pickled sheep’s eye in a glass of tomato juice, the outer Mongolians swear by it.
- Consume foods and drinks that contain fructose (such as fruit juice or honey). There is some evidence that fructose will help your body burn the alcohol faster — that is, get the alcohol out of your body faster.
- The Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure (a little too much preparation for someone who’s just been wasted out of their gourd the night before)
- 500-1000 mgs aspirin, a rehydrating sports drink like Gatorade, and one 25 mg Dramamine (Dimenhydrinate) tablet which will drive vertigo, nausea, and Satan himself from yer gulliver.
- Drink your wife’s (or baby’s mama’s) breast milk - Who the fuck has done this??
- The Ultimate Bloody Mary - My personal favorite!
- A peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich on white bread.
- Hair of the dog that bit you. In other words, start drinking the same thing that got you fucked up the night before.
- Bucket next to the bed and the phone off the hook .
- Olympic-size Breakfast, complete with sausage, eggs, pancakes, toast, bacon, and hashbrowns.
I actually don’t think any of these are a fool-proof method of getting yourself back to normal after a night of binge drinking. After all, you’re the one that decided to put copious amounts of what your body considers poison into your gullet, right? I’ve tried quite a few of these, but really the only thing that gets rid of a hangover for me, is preparing for a night of debauchery before it starts. Like say, drink a shit load of pure water and take four pain relievers of your choice (I just go with generic ibuprofen) right before you pass out.
I swear by diet coke and pretzels. The salty dry pretzels and fizz of the soda settle my stomach…and a handful of tylenol for the headache. Happy New Year Mojo
You said you’ve tried most of these cures. How was Mongolia Mojo ?
My only cure is about 48 hours in bed feeling sorry for yourself and blaming a “dirty” glass for your woes.
I did #10, then took a nap.
It worked.
Cheers! :-)
Breast milk? Huh? And what about the sheep’s eye? My God, what is wrong with those Mongols? They need Atilla back to restore some damn common sense.
What I do know is that many times, you’re better off not going to sleep. If you just stay awake, let the alcohol wear off, you won’t get hungover.
I swear by “hair of the dog.” Best hangover cure is brunch with alcoholic beverages.
Or you could try Chaser:
http://www.doublechaser.com/
Don’t take tylenol. It may be safe when used as directed but it can be very hard on your liver. They’ve even started to put warnings on the lable about not taking when drinking more than 3 drinks.
I just stay asleep until I’m ready to get up.
Dear Jane: I’ll stick with crackers and Diet Coke sometimes too…
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Ben: Well… ok, ya got me. I haven’t tried every single one. :)
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Laurie: MMMmmmm… it doesn’t really sound like it would work, but it does.
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The Phoenix: The few times I’ve been able to do that, it’s definitely worked. Too bad alcohol is worse than sleeping pills for me though… so I can’t usually pull it off too often.
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JJ: Brunch with a Bloody Mary is my favorite.
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Robguy: I’ve heard that too… I take ibuprofen all the time though. I wonder what kinda damage that’s doing.
Great suggestions!
It’s all about anticipation; a glass or real Florida orange juice, a pint of cold water and an advil (liqui gel) before you getting to bed (drunk) and you shall NOT have a hangover next morning.
… and quoting that old dude from Men’s Warehouse commerical; I Guarantee it!
drink breast milk? fucking sick, man! I’ll live with the headache!
Tawcan: Thanks.
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RockyJay: I agree, although sometimes its hard to anticipate just exactly which night I choose to get shit-faced.
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Dawn: I concur!
I just did no. 10 this morning, asian version of a breakfast though, but yeah, makes u feel a lil better… esp. if followed by a nap like laurie said….
[...] I’m not usually one to make a fuss. OK, actually I am. And I couldn’t help myself when I came across this MySpace blog post. It’s a blatant cut-and-paste job of a brilliant write up on hangover cures I wrote exactly a year ago. [...]
the best cure 4 a hangover is to get up and try to get on with your day, plenty of fluids and then a nice warm cup of tea. my head was banging this morning but i got up made breakfast 4 every1 hubbys looking worse 4 wear gone to get a beer to ‘help’ his stomach! but i am fandabbydozzie