Indoor Pools Rock! Especially in your living room!
As far as crazy stunts go, this Tynan guy has got to be up there. He decides, after checking out a ‘Penguin Web Site‘, that he’s going to get himself a pet penguin. Yes, you read that right, a pet penguin.
The only problem is he needs to create an appropriate habitat for his penguin, so what does he decide to do? He fills a 3100 gallon pool in his living room! Yes, he really did it. Here is the logic flow chart he used to make the decision:
[photopress:flow.jpg,full,centered]
Genius, huh? I know I’ve used that decision making process a little too often. But hey! At least I have a story to tell now right? And just to prove he wasn’t making it up, Tynan posted multiple pictures of his ‘project’. Here’s one of it full:
[photopress:poolinlivingroom.jpg,full,centered]
Of course the Penguin site turned out to be a hoax (I was wishing it wasn’t) and he ended up having to drain it and left it on his porch for a couple months. And get this, CostCo took it back and gave him a refund. How cool is that? Here’s how the return went:
Tynan : I’d like to return this swimming pool.
Woman : Is there something wrong with it?
Tynan : No.
Woman : Then why do you want to return it?
Tynan : Well, I put it in my house because I was going to buy a penguin, but I kept worrying that it was going to leak on my carpet. It’s not as sturdy as the one you had on display (this is true - the one on display was double walled)The woman definitely did not believe me and just stared blankly.
Woman : I.. umm. I don’t think we can take this return. I’m going to get a manager.
Manager: Sir, can you tell me why you’d like to return this pool?
Tynan : I was going to buy a penguin, but I was worried the pool was going to leak on my carpet. It doesn’t say anywhere not to use it inside, but I don’t think it’s sturdy enough.
Manager: Are you being serious?
Tynan: Yes.
Manager: Ok… I guess we’ll take it.
Now the guy has a great story to tell, didn’t experience a disaster, and isn’t even out the money for the pool months later. God, I’d love to have a story that awesome to tell, and I didn’t have to finish it with “Well, of course I didn’t think about [insert key important factor] and it all went to shit…”
[tags]pictures, photos, penguins, pool, living room, stunts, stupid, fun, funny, humor, hilarious, comedy, great story, blogging, blog, weblog[/tags]
First, I’m shocked that he even GAVE a reason for the return. But like you said, it makes for a good story!
Second, where would one go to randomly purchase a penguin? And if you answer “black market” can you really be sure of what kind of penguin you’re GETTING?? The chances of a black market penguin having a criminal record have to be astronomical!
Third, I might have to rip off that decision-making chart of yours. Pure genius!
ngregory: Ha! Imagine getting Danny DeVito shipped to your house dressed as The Penguin…
The chart’s not mine though, I stole it fair and square from Tynan’s site!
Too bad it didn’t work out for the guy. Penguins are badass.
They’re always dressed for martini-time. They waddle around like fat midgets, which is totally cute. And they swim - birds that can fucking swim! That kicks ass.
I wonder how long it took him to become worried that it might leak in his house? I used to have a waterbed, but then got a corgi. They chew on everything as a puppy. One day I was walking through the downstairs to go to the patio, and I wondered “why is it raining in the house?” Kept the dog, but now I have a standard bed.
JJ: Yeah, I was hoping he actually got one and then had to give it up because PETA came to his house or something…
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Robguy: Oh man, a leaky waterbed… did it ruin the whole house?
ha! that’s hilarious….kinda like a redneck indoor swimming pool. the other thing the rednecks do is lay down tarp in their truck beds and fill it up with water! woo-hoo, instant swimming pool!
but I can’t blame the guy. I’d LOVE to have a pet penguin.
Now I have officially seen all. So far, I though it was ex-Miami Vice star claiming himself an alien (to me), but this takes the cake.
Is there even any other decision making processes? I printed that out, framed it and now it is the official policy in our company - well, at least as long as legal gets their hands on it…
Dawn: No, when you analyze it, you can’t blame him at all…
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RockyJay: No I don’t think there is another decision making process… I’m pretty sure that’s the only one that counts.
Love the special logic flow chart. That is a bad ass story, though.
Desult: I think that’s my favorite part of the story too. I read that you were shipping out soon for the military on your blog. Good luck!
The best part of the whole story isn’t what the guy did but your diagram of his thought process. I’m not certain the guy in the story has the brightest of bulbs.
Riss: I thought the diagram was hilarious too… but I gotta make sure I don’t take credit for it. Tynan came up with it on his own and posted it with his story.
Penguins are cool, but why buy your own? Geez…what a weirdo.
The Phoenix: Weirdo? Or eccentric genius? Hmmm… probably just the difference of a few dozen IQ points.